On the Nature of Poetry and Politics: Returning to James Wright in an Arizona Desert

I first read James Wright’s poem, To the Saguaro Cactus in the Desert Rain, when I was much younger and still trying to see my way through the thickets of poetry. But I felt a kinship to the images of James Wright from the start. He, too, was from Ohio and I knew the horses in the farm fields he drove past, beautiful in their loneliness, and I knew, too, the feel of my own horse’s ear, “delicate as the skin over a girl’s wrist.”

I thought about James Wright and his poem a few weeks ago in Arizona.  I was lured there with my camera by the online promise to birders of “500 species of birds” passing the arid desert border between Arizona and Mexico in spring migration. The morning I walked through Sabino Canyon up the Phoneline trail to Blackett’s Ridge, I expected, I suppose, a whole murmuration of exotic birds to sweep over the cacti and the yellow haze of the blue palo verde tree. Or, surely, at least the elf owl snuggled in an old woodpecker’s hole high above me in the arms of James Wright’s saguaro.

But what I saw instead before the late morning’s tongue of heat pushed me back-canyon to the parking lot was more than just the common band-tailed pigeons pecking at the saguaro’s white blossoms, their plaintive cry taking me back to the doves that haunt our Colorado backyard.  Or even further back to the pond mists of my father’s Ohio farm and the mourning doves that woke me so gently each morning when I was a girl at home.

You see, when I was young, dreaming of being a poet, I always thought of James Wright as a “nature” poet. And I wanted so much to write like him. Yet his poetry is much more complex than what I knew then. It weaves together, of course, the beautiful things of nature, like elf owls and desert rain and weeping tarantulas. But also the forces of the the human world—its factories and the bitter politic places that Wright once “tore” himself out of.  Forty years past the first time I read James Wright’s love poem to the elf owl and the saguaro, I can’t still be a poet and forget the thirst and the brutal sun that always exist, no matter how much I wanted as a girl to only dream of the beautiful and the pensive.

Walking through that spring Arizona desert, I suddenly realized, unmentioned by the online tourist engines that had brought me here, that just an hour drive south were the loops of razor wire and the “vertical barriers” we had constructed so cruelly and haphazardly at the border to deter the migrants who trek here, foot-weary and heavy, thousands of miles with their tiny children through places more barren than that late-morning desert, the homes that their children, too, loved, abandoned. This is what I really saw.

Ironically, later, in a tiny wild place between the rough of a neighboring golf course and the hotel parking lot, I found the birds I couldn’t in the desert: gilded flickers guarding the nest holes they excavate into the saguaros. And then a desert cardinal and a painted redstart stuttering through the trees. On the golfing green, so close I stopped breathing to see it, the greater roadrunner, masked in the blue, white, and orange of the orbital skin behind its eyes, stared transfixed at me, until it flashed past.

It wasn’t in the desert where I found this owl either, but on the grounds of the same hotel where an attendant at the “guard” hut waved us toward the trees behind her to show us the baby great horned owls.  Not the elf owl. They had spent the first months of their lives nested in the rafters of the hotel’s entrance until finally, their wings fledged and they hopped and flapped their way to these trees, planted so close to an unspoken border by a golf course community, a place that my son-in-law reminded me should never in a desert have existed.

To the Saguaro Cactus in the Desert Rain  
               by James Wright 

I had no idea the elf owl
Crept into you in the secret
Of night.

I have torn myself out of many bitter places
In America, that seemed

Tall and green-rooted in mid-noon.
I wish I were the spare shadow
Of the roadrunner, I wish I were
The honest lover of the diamondback
And the tear the tarantula weeps.
I had no idea you were so tall
And blond in moonlight.
I got thirsty in the factories,
And I hated the brutal dry suns there,
So I quit.

You were the shadow
Of a hallway
In me.

I have never gone through that door,
But the elf owl's face
Is inside me.

You are not one of the gods.
Your green arms lower and gather me.
I am an elf owl's shadow, a secret
Member of your family.

from poets.org

On Green Comets, Wild Turkeys, and First Grandchildren    

I’m up, despite the sleepy first-night acclimatization to 9600 feet above sea level. I want to see the green comet in the northern hemisphere: a sometimes two-horned “devil comet” spewing its icy heart into the cosmos, the sun spinning its fine green tail that no one has seen for seventy-one years and no one will see again for another eighty.  When the moon plummeted over the mid-day sun a couple of weeks ago, I could bet my brother that I might very well be alive twenty-five years from now to see the next total solar eclipse, but eighty years has me entwined in the deepest of earth roots, or wherever the solar winds might send my ashes. 

I’ve noticed lately that every event now, solar or earthly, animal or human, toggles back and forth for me between “next time” and “never again.” Soon the largest commingling of 13-year cicadas and 17-year cicadas will boil, noisy and gut-crunchy, out of the southern landscape simply for love, a convergence I’m told that happens only every 221 years. Guess I’ll miss that next one.

Perversely, I have become superstitious of the present, brooding about what in my childhood I thought impossible to happen here, now:  war, nuclear or drone. I find myself analyzing news stories for historic connections to the early earmarks of war: shattered glass storefronts, gold stars, and the deification of egotists and evil men. I keep thinking back to the interview the night before the invasion of Ukraine by Russia with a young, half-laughing woman against the backdrop of dazzling city streets and café lights. She kept shaking her head in amazement at the threat of war by a dictator of a country that shared families with her country: “Attack us? Putin must be crazy.” And I tumbled down the dark rabbit hole of the suffering to come that this young woman, buffered by youth, knew so little about.

Outside, the gibbous moon is in full blaze, crisscrossed by dissipating contrails and a ruffle of noctilucent clouds.  I stand on our cabin balcony and look out with my binoculars toward the big dipper in the north, hopeful for a smear of green light.  But between the glow of the gold mines and Colorado Springs, the finding is futile. At most, I must be happy seeing a few shots online.

It all makes me think about the wild turkeys I saw the other day. I had trudged along the river in the rain with my camera, covered by a green shopping bag, to find the owl and its owlets I had seen when I was biking the day before.  The woman with the spotting scope had explained that she had been monitoring the family since early spring and she showed me the triangle of branches where the nest sat next to the parking lot and outhouse. This time, I circled around and around the clump of cottonwood trees with my camera, trying to find the best view to catch.

In between my futile clickings, I happened to see two wild turkeys, dark and dowdy blobs wandering through the distant grass, but I ignored the bedraggled pair, wanting just the owl and its babies.  Finally accepting that my only shot would be a molt of wet feathers, I made my way back. Only then did I realize that the wild turkeys were a mated pair: the male a swell of black mottled feathers, who puffed and strutted, his face a beautiful mask of blue and red wattle and snood that the female turkey ignored, pecking the grass for whatever. 

Scientists have found turkey fossils that are five million years old. Think of that: this turkey dance I witnessed on a bike trail in quiet woods on a rainy spring morning is part of that ancient primordial force that keeps this earth ablaze. I probably won’t see that dance again, though I’ll look for it, but it will happen again and again, while a comet called “green” and “devil” and “mother of dragons” spirals back around the sun into the dark of invisible space to return, eighty years from now, when my first grandchild—beautiful hiccupping ghost of the ultrasound—will stare into this same sky, I hope, older than I am now.

turkey tail!

Mist Nets: After the Uvalde Shooting (Finalist for Terrain.org’s 13th Annual Contest for Creative Nonfiction)

Mist Nets: After the Uvalde Shooting at Terrain.org.

On April 20, 1999, when the Columbine shooters were hunting through the school library, our nine-year-old daughters were locked in an elementary school gymnasium a mile away from Columbine highschool. I was in a meeting at a company I would soon leave. This time, on May 24, 2022, when the Uvalde shooter killed two teachers and nineteen children, one of my daughters was teaching fourth grade in the Roaring Fork Valley and I was taking photos of killdeer at Yellowstone National Park and wouldn’t know of the shooting until we drove home.

The essay I wrote, Mist Nets: After the Uvalde Shooting, was one of four finalists for the Terrain.org 13th annual contest in creative nonfiction and is now published on their website. The essay started for me when I ran across this quote by Roland Barthes: “Time eliminates the emotion of loss (I do not weep), that is all.” I think it is the enormity of “that is all” that carried me forward into this essay.

Octopus on a Sea Dock: New Poem at Split Rock Review

this lovely image popped up from Split Rock Review on Facebook
with the link to my poem

So another prompt-inspired poem, this one from an April 2021 National Poetry Prompt at NaPoWriMO:

“Go to the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows and choose a word to work with.” I chose “onism”: awareness of how little of the world you’ll experience, which seemed apropos for that past year’s solitude. And then I thought about imagination and memory and went places I never expected, certainly one of the joys of writing poetry.

Octopus on a Sea Dock

It floated out from a sea bucket
into the silver spilt water
of the sea dock we’d come to visit,
so quiet at our feet
that the fishermen nearby were oblivious,
their fishing poles . . .

Read the rest here at Split Rock Review


Pre-orders for Flying Beneath the Dog Star: Poems from a Pandemic are open until November 29. Flying Beneath the Dog Star was a semi-finalist for the Finishing Line Press 2020 Open Chapbook Contest. The chapbook, fingers-crossed for a lightening of the shipping boat snafus, comes out at the end of January 2022.

Morning on the Cabin Porch

My beautiful visiting bee this morning reminded me of this poem I wrote last spring. It will be part of my chapbook, Flying Beneath the Dog Star: Poems from a Pandemic, to be published this January by Finishing Line Press.

The hummingbird mistakes
me for a flower: something
half-wan and camouflaged
in a wild iris shirt.
The aspens riddle my slant
of sun like snakes of shade.
Far off,  past the pines,
a meadowlark trills
from the draw where, yesterday,
I found bear scat fresh,
flies swarming it.
I walked, clapping my hands
at the dark of woods
until they hurt.
Now the air stirs.
A hummingbird zips
past the porch, circles,
hovers, a tiny god at my face.
I am all blossom and sepal,
sweet petal and wing dust.
And at my feet, a tiny bee
crawls for the first time.